OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
