Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
