I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
