Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
