OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
