whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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