I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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