She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
