I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
