sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
