Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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