I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize