im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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