from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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