he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
