so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
