I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
