Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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