I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
