Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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