Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
