tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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