Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
