Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
