I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
