WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
