sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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