Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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