I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
