Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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(314): View more from Missouri

The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired

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(707): View more from California

someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.

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(707): View more from California

He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.

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(217): View more from Illinois

he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird

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(512): View more from Texas

He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?

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