morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize