Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize