He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
