Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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