Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Randomize