I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
