Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
