is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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