Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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