Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
