I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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