I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize