I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
