Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
