so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
