i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
