i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
