I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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