can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
