Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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