these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
