get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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