Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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