Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm both gender and math confused
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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