Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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