I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
