when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have demons in me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
