I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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