Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
