she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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