I wannas sexs uuuuu
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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